I've decided to be real
F the readers
F the onlookers
and their fishbowl
You don't know me
You never will
Not like him
I won't let you

It was such a weird night set off by an incredibly fortunate and unsuspected succession of days, this way we catch time and seal it in our grip and call it a week. I felt it in my bones hours before, that this would be different. He kept saying you're stalling. And I was. I didn't know why but there was a sweet one-winged angel standing to my right crying a single tear and smiling. I didn't know why she had come but I felt it all. And it made me move slower and more gently.

Not long after I arrived I realized what her tear was for. It was for prying eyes and loneliness and jealousy. And the missing wing... it's something that had to be made the best of. Maybe just one more shot to get it right. And I felt my neck getting red the way it always does when I forget to cover it. And I remembered, she smiled. She smiled. Across the room I see him standing alone. I mouth the words Let's get out of here. And for the next three hours and fifty-nine minutes he made sure I got every penny's worth out of that broken smile.

The thunder was so loud. And when it stopped all I could think was how rhythmic his breath was and how it made my body move. His fingertips felt like feathers that only caressed the most revealed of places and still I shuddered. And the rain kept time on the windows and we pressed it between us until we were ready to let go. And then I did. And then I did. And then I did. He curled in close behind me and soothed every fear that originated years and years ago with one calming touch of his right palm. And the tear came back. Fingers through my hair, legs intertwined, I love you. A kiss and more tears.

He cries when he leaves me.