i don't know why i expect it
to change
after these years
he says i just wanted to hear your voice
and as an afterthought
i'm having a baby girl
in february
he gets mad
and says like you give a
shit
he wants me to
i say you know it's more complicated
than that
and it's silent
i stand in this room
dark and surrounded
and when i'm next to him
i still feel like the beauty queen
runner up
stripped and defeated
for showing my tits
to some photographer
for a hundred bucks to pay the
light bill
secretly i smile though
i'm still prettier
smarter
and more than you'll let yourself have
so as to not be
outdone
and that's fine
the music is good
the liquor is cold
and that baby girl in february
will break your heart
just like
i did