The proximity
is almost too much for me
to handle
My body needs you
in ways I'm not even sure
are possible
We talk about friends
family
the safe topics

You wonder why
you're having to do all the heavy lifting
in the conversation
It's like pulling teeth
you say
What's going on in your life?
You're not this quiet

My insides ache
while I sit on this red vinyl
and I want to do nothing
but steal away
anywhere, really
turn out all the lights
and see what it feels like when
you find me in the dark

Would I feel your fingertips first
or your chest
your belly or your thighs
Would you devour me
or wait for permission

Even if we had days
it wouldn't be long enough

But no,
I haven't seen that one guy
since high school
And it's really great
that your brother is doing well

I let you continue the conversation
because if you talk,
everything inside me-
life as I know it-
is safe

I order another drink.